Lap Top Messenger

I spent two sleepless nights thinking about designing a laptop messenger. I went ahead and made one today...it came out perfect. With dimensions of 13" by 18" it can accommodate a large laptop and would also be perfect as a diaper bag, overnight bag or to lug around your artist supplies.

I went to our local fabric shop yesterday...bribing my son with chicken nuggets (he hates going lol) and bought lots of new fabric...I spent the rest of the afternoon cutting out 8 messengers...so I have a lot of sewing to do...but I love it.

Spring cleaning or Nervous Energy?

So for the past week I've been doing things around the house, that I have been waiting to do forever. When we moved into our home, I spent days ripping off 80's wallpaper and painting. So by the time I made it to the bathrooms...I didn't care anymore. So they have been a boring white until this week...oh they did both have hideous borders that I scrapped off...but other than that...boring white. I decided on a deep chocolate brown with aqua accents...those colors seem so relaxing yet refreshing. After finishing the guest bathroom...I still had some paint left over...so I painted our bathroom as well. I love it.

I've also had this overwhelming urge to clean and organize all of the closets in the house. I don't know why. Maybe it's nervous energy with the adoption process...or an urgency to get things in order before we add to our family...knowing that there won't be much time to paint, organize and etc or...I just like things to be in order...who knows.

I also planted our spring veggies. If you haven't heard about "gardening by the square foot", you should google it. Last year it yielded 13 inch zucchinis and so many tomatoes we couldn't eat them all. I love being able to go outside and pick fresh herbs and veggies to cook with. It's also teaching Jude on how to care for something. I let him help me water, weed and pick.

Speaking of Jude, last night was "one of those nights" when we put him to bed and the fight began. He loves to wait about 20 minutes...when you finally dozed off and are done for the night...to scream..."I've got to go poooop!" Now...you can't deny him his right to go poop...and for the most part he really does need to go....so there I go...get him up, turn light on...tell him to sit down...and then walk back to my room...after 1 second...he says "I'm doooone....go check...nothing. Explain to him that he can't get up anymore and it's time for bed....he does this for the next 2 hours....it's midnight...my husband has to get up in 4 hours...and is not happy. He finally does go....but then screams..."it's stuck...help" I quickly get up, not knowing what's in store....I turn the corner and there he is on the potty...with his child potty seat stuck around his head. I immediately start laughing and grab the camera. Wow I'm such a good mom....right? Maybe this is how we all learned common sense. I took several minutes to get it off...me laughing...him crying....and pics to document it all.

keeping busy

Well I finished our scrapbook file this past weekend...and I turned it in before I remembered to take some pics. It was a lot of fun, time consuming and nerve racking. When you think about it...our children's birthmother will be holding that book...we carefully crafted our words...thinking about each subject and how she would feel reading it. For instance when it came to Jude...we could have made a thousand pages of him....I have pics of every week of his life for the 1st year...and every month after that lol, but we didn't want the BM to think her child would be 2nd best. So I made 2 pages of him...describing our struggles with infertility, briefly his birthstory and his excitement to be a big brother. The whole thing came out beautifully. So now our social worker is working on writing our homestudy. We have submitted all the paperwork for that. From this point on...it is a waiting game.

I've had a lot of extra energy this week...eventhough not a lot of sleep. I painted our guest bathroom a dark chocolate brown. I bought a new over the toilet storage thingy...in chocolate and have aqua accents...it came out lovely. I've also been busy working in our yard...planting lettuce, snappeas, purple onions and herbs...my dad helped me transplant some rose trees from my aunts house.

I need to make some more items for my etsy store...I just can't decide what. Blanket sets, Booties, Messengers or Magnets...I tend to sell in cycles....some things will fly off "the rack" one month...and the next another. So we will see....I'm thinking Messengers...it's spring..and soon summer...we all need something to carry all our crap in!

Jude helping grandpa plant the rose trees

a relief...

well today was the last "interview" portion for our homestudy. I'm so relieved and happy. It went well...and I felt way more relaxed....eventhough we were interviewed separately. I feel like it went smoothly.

Things you may need to have in place before your homestudy

1) a fire exit plan posted

2) fire extinquisher

3) emergency numbers posted

4) copy of children's immunizations or pet's shot records

5) keyed entry to any medicine cabinet

6) child locks on everything

7) comfort food...for afterwards :)

Jude was so cute today....he always asks a million questions about everything...and he asked why "that lady" was coming today...and then before I could answer...he so very matter-a-factly states "because she's going to help us get a baby sister..." I just nod.

He also peed in a cup today....we were in the shower and he insisted that I hand him his cup and close my eyes....I was washing my hair...when I realized what he has said....I looked down and he handed me a cup of pee...all I could do was laugh.

My Newest Booties Collection

So I got my first wholesale order ...well my first legit wholesale order last weekend...yes, while throwing my son a fabulous birthday party and getting ready for our homestudy! I completed them and decided to go ahead and list them as "not ready-made". I am working on having them all ready made...but it takes some time...here they are...and they are adorable! I think the hardest part was naming them all lol. I have about 5 more styles that I haven't listed....

P.S. I think the homestudy went well...you never know....we do have our next interview this Thursday.

The process...in a nutshell

Okay so here are the details....
First we submitted our application....
They accepted it.

Then they conduct a "home study" which is just a nice word for: judging whether or not your home, health, sex life, emotional status, mental status and everything else under the sun, is suitable for a child. They come into our home and observe and interview you for a certain amount of hours....and you also have to be fingerprinted for background checks...

if or when you pass...they type all this stuff up...for later in court when you are petitioning for adoption of a child...

okay then we are placed on a list...and wait...

then a birthmother/family will contact them...they will counsel her and help her make the decision on whether adoption is the right decision for her/family...and ask her questions on what type of family she is interested in.

then they present birthfamily with scrapbooks that each potential adoptive families have made of their lives

She will then choose.

petition court for termination of rights
(lots of legal stuff here...)

Baby is born.

Agency places baby with us and does home visits until we can legally petition for adoption

Petition for adoption and go to court...adoption is complete...submit forms for new birth certificate

and live happliy ever after...or until we decide to do it all over again lol

In the Beginning....

Our adoption application was accepted!

So we have our first appointment to begin the whole homestudy process, this Tuesday (March 3rd). There is so much wonder that goes through one's mind, when beginning this leg of the journey...."is my house clean enough" "will I answer that question correctly" "do I look like a good mom" it can be overwhelming. I understand that it is completely necessary to insure the safety and well-being of the child...but I really don't like being judged...but who does...So I'm excited, nervous....happy....and I'm willing to do whatever it takes to bring our kids home.

Turning 3

There is something that happens when you strap a gun...real or fake to a boy's (or man's) hip. I took pictures of my son today...dressed as a cowboy. We are having an "Outlaw Johnny Cash Cowboy" B-day party....he is turning three. He immediately took on a whole different personality...walking different, making mad faces and asking if he's allowed to shoot birds. I had a good laugh this afternoon...watching him strut around...I had to convince him to wash the moustache off to take a nap. I love throwing theme parties...I tend to go over the top...but this is the day that my heart was flooded with joy....the day that ended the longing for a child and the day I became a mama. I still remember seeing his beautiful red lips, skinny legs and almost bald head for the first time...and singing "you are my sunshine" as I rocked him to sleep in the nursery. This is going to be a fun party...I'll post more pics after next weekend.

I freehanded this card for my husband for Valentine's Day...it came along with some freshly baked brownies and a 4 pack of Jones Soda...we are celebrating tonight, Friday the 13th (dundundunnnn) because tomorrow I'm getting my CCL (Concealed Carry License)...why is Friday the 13th so "unlucky" who made that decision? Why not Tuesday the 13th or Monday? I always liked Friday the 13th because someone would always call in a "bomb threat" to our school...and we just got to screw around all day...well while all you love birds are going out to dinner, getting dozens of roses and watching sappy movies...I'll be shooting my heart out.

Dear Birth Parent

So the update is....YES! This is the ideal agency for us. We felt extremely comfortable and are super excited to be turning in our application later this week. They asked us to start working on a scrapbook and "dear birth parent" letter that they will present to each birth family that we match....I don't even know where to begin...my heart is flooded with emotions and run-on sentences, oh and 8 years worth of photos. I'm just trying to sort through it all.

Hobby Lobby is having an amazing sale on all their scrapbook supplies....which this time, I didn't hesitate to buy the album I've been coveting for the past year, with no real excuse to buy it...until now...it's beautiful....black and aqua damask...

So now I'm happily looking through all our photos on our computer...remembering when Jude was born....the stories....trips...experiences...and thinking that someday...hopefully soon....my son or daughter's birthmother will be holding this album...turning the pages...seeing just a glimpse into our lives....... and choosing us.

To be or not to be....we will see

A couple of weeks ago, my hubby, Jude and I were driving home from a fantastic lunch at a new bakery when we saw a huge sign that read "Adoption Services." We quickly looked at each other in surprise because there isn't an adoption agency for hundreds of miles in our state. Joe asked if we should turn around....in which I replied..."sure, but it's probably an adoption program for pets" (LOL) I quickly realized we were both dressed NOT to impress...which is important to me...I don't know why, but it is...we went in...and yes it IS a real adoption agency that is just getting started. (they've also worked with the foster care system for sometime) They were very nice....(but not in a bubbly kind of way...which I admit, makes me nervous...) and professional....and they didn't seem to mind that we were not dressed to impress LOL....we actually walked in on a meeting they were having...but they took a couple of minutes to gives us the info we desired. Needless to say we have an appointment with them today at 5 pm. I'm excited....but there is always that side of me that says....it may be too good to be true. However I did say that when Jude's birthmother said "yes, I would like you to adopt my baby"....so that's not always the truth. I'm trying to keep myself from daydreaming about a new nursery....lol...ahhhhhh the joys of waiting

Birth of a Shoe

I took pictures of a childhood friend and her hubby who were pregnant with their first baby. I've taken lots of prego pics, but these are particularly special to me....as she was making her "birthing plan" she asked me to be there when she gave birth to their little girl. I think a dream

of mine is to become a doula at some point in my life...because I truly love the whole process of birth. Sweet baby Mia came into this world last Wednesday...with jet black hair, arms flying, legs kicking, greeted by bright lights and crying faces...it was amazing. The next day I made these little booties...and named them Mia Jade.

Baking bread from scratch

Over a year ago we started milling our own wheat to make wholesome, nay more than wholesome...bread. It is absolutely delicious and packed with vital nutrients that commercial bread lacks.....even the "whole grain" crap you buy doesn't even hold a light up to the amazing nutrients that are in freshly milled flour...

I also enjoy letting my son help whever he can...is more like "letting mama help me".....here's some pics of our adventure

All the ingredients...raw local honey, cold pressed organic olive oil, sea salt, local eggs, yeast, lecithin and water...yes that's also wine...that's for mama

Digging in the red winter wheat bucket

Putting the wheat berries in the mill

turning it on...

...whoa...kinda freaked out (it sounds like an airplane)

Feeling a lot safer on the floor...

Putting everything in...(it's hard trying to take a pic and help pour lol)

Eating honey off the spoon...

Smelling the most important ingredient...yeast

after kneading, rising, shaping, rising again...and baking...

fabulous bread from scratch....

we ate it with butter and apricot preserves...it was amazing!

Cutest Baby Set...

So I haven't been making any new baby blanket sets...due to that they maybe illegal in the weeks to come...but a friend of mine ordered one...Rockabilly Style...I swear this is the cutest one I've made! I'm contemplating on making me one as well! A large blanket...50"x36", booties, and two burp cloths...

What I did over the holidays....whew!

It was a crazy Christmas Holiday for me this year...which I'm grateful that I had...and grateful that I survived it! In the days before, I had a huge order of 100 magnet sets (yes that's 400 magnets) that I had to send out, a wedding to shoot...Etsy store orders and local orders....and then my lovely hubby tells me that we are leaving the day after Christmas for Texas to visit his family (17 hour trip!)....and that's not including shopping, decorating, cooking, baking, wrapping, packing...etc...for us. Let's just say I didn' sleep much...and my family and best friend really surrounded me and helped me get these things done.

I'm including some pics from the wedding...which was beautiful...yet not the ideal photography conditions...super dark, no ceiling to bounce the flash...and surrounded by windows...