I made front page of etsy

I was so excited to learn that my Jack Bear Booties made the front page this morning. I was wondering why I had a crazy amount of views and 24 new "hearts"! It is such an honor...especially since Etsy Administration put it together!

Lap Top Messengers...for the birds

I custom made this mustard yellow canvas messenger for my friend last week...I loved it so much that I made one in a beautiful sky blue and chocolate...this was my first time "free handing"...or should I say "free-sewing" a picture...I loved this bag so much I almost didn't list it on my store. Lately I've been slightly obsessed with birds...not live ones...I'm honestly not a fan...but the silhouettes of birds on branches.

No updates on the adoption portion of my life...I'm working on a second replica of the "dear birthparent" scrapbook...for the agency and that's about it.

Wait Train

Today the world laid to rest a music icon....to which I will say that I cried like a baby through the whole memorial...not because I'm going to miss Michael Jackson, but because I felt for his children. I can't imagine their pain.

I also just found out that the birthmother choose the other family. I'm not sad...more disappointed...and now my mind can be at rest. I don't have to wonder if I said the right things or wish I said something different. All I can do is be a good wife to my hubby and a mommy to my son...and get back on the "wait" train. (more like roller coaster lol) And it will start all over again. I lean on God for He is my strong tower...

Over and Out

Well we had our phone conference today...I just got off the phone, so I'm still trying to process the whole thing. It went well...we answered some tough questions...and the birthmother is amazing. However, I don't know if we are the family she is looking for. I just have that feeling. Who knows...

All we can do is wait and see...
I'm trying not to over analyze the whole conversation...that's soooo hard for me.
I am glad that the first initial phone call is over...the anticipation of the unknown is gone. So now we are waiting for her to choose or not choose us. I don't know how long that will take...hopefully soon we will have an answer.

What's in a conversation?

A birthmother from our agency has narrowed her decision down to 2 families...and we are one of them. (enter happy jig here) We have a phone conference with her on Tuesday. I've never done this before. With Jude's birthmother we just met at a restaurant...up close and personal. The kicker is that my hubby will be 3 hours away at his lunch break...so we won't be able to "read each other"...let's just say I won't be able to "give him the eye" if he needs it lol. This is the next step. If she choses us...she is due in 6 weeks. I have butterflies in my stomach...I'm hopeful, yet cautious. She hasn't picked us yet...and if she doesn't pick us...that's okay too. I'm restraining myself from daydreaming about the nursery, what the sex of the baby is, what it will feel like to hold a newborn in my arms...okay I'm stopping. I don't know what questions she will be asking us...so everything will be on the spot answers...I'm a "prepare ahead" type of gal...so the anticipation is overwhelming. My only peace is knowing that it's in God's hands...

so what's in a conversation....?

....our baby could be.

p.s. the pic is of my hubby and son on our trip to San Diego a couple of weeks ago.

Whirlwind

So to make a blog entry short...it's been an eventful 3 weeks. We went on vacation for an entire week in San Diego...family action packed...only to return home...wash our clothes and move 3 hours away from home. My hubby got a detail for 6 months. Before we left...literally the next day, we met with our social worker to read through our homestudy...it was weird reading about what someone else thinks of you. It went well.

Right before we left on vacation she called to say that there were 2 potential birthfamilies...however one family decided on a family in another state...and the other one wasn't sure she was going to choose adoption....

So that's that...and that is okay!

Just minutes ago she called and said there was another potential birthmother. Her plan for her baby matches ours and they will be showing her our profile. She is due in August.

We are excited...even if she doesn't choose us. Just getting the ball rolling is comforting. We are in the whirlwind of waiting...seeing if they choose us...not getting our hopes up...but yet getting excited....The only thing we can do is pray and continue to live our lives with the comfort of knowing that someday...and hopefully soon...we will be bringing our kiddo home.

On another note...moving 3 hours away is hard. I miss my family dearly...and my sister just moved back into town. Jude misses his "gramps" and talks to him everyday. When we arrived here...we moved into a house we saw online...it looked great in the pics...but was NOT ok. So we moved out of there after 2 days and into another one...so I finally feel like I can set up "house"...but I'm ready to go back home for the weekend...back to "my" Walmart, Co-op, Target and bed.

Painting the roses red...well more like rust...

When we bought our house..we knew that someday we would be ripping up the carpet and laying tile or wood...never considering staining the concrete because it is so incredibly expensive. The first thing we did was rip up the carpet in our room because there was carpet in the bathroom....which to me is so disgusting. We put in a calico looking floor because we had a friend who had a bunch of left overs from different houses that he had laid. I love the effect it has. A couple of years later we decided to rip up the rest of the carpet and lay tile down..except for the back bedrooms. I love the coolness of tile and the fact that you can get it so clean you can eat off of it! We ended up ripping up the carpet in one of the back bedrooms and have been living off the ugly concrete that was splattered with paint, stain and dry wall from 20 plus years ago. I started researching painting, etching, and acid washing/staining concrete. I didn't want to paint because we have friends that have done that....and anytime you move furniture...there goes the paint...etching...too much trouble...and staining I love love love the way it looks...but it is way way to expensive...even for a small room...plus it's with acid.

When we went on a weekend retreat to the hills of Kingston...the place we stayed at had all acid washed concrete...or so I thought. I asked "Pete" if he had acid washed this entire building...it was pretty big..and thought it must of cost a fortune. He smiled and said no....we used ferrous sulfate...and did the entire house for around $50. WHAT???

So that's what we did.

I'm not going to lie...it's work...but because it is so cheap...it's worth it. Of course we were taking everything out of a very messy bedroom, ripping up carpet, tack strip...and then scrubbing 20 plus years of paint, stain and dry wall...and we had to paint all the walls because the baseboards were put in after the carpet...so there was a 1 inch gap, and then patching the concrete and so on. If you were starting with a clean slab it would be way easier. So for 2 rooms we bought 2 bags ferrous sulfate called Copperas, patch and tool and garden sprayer and concrete sealer.. which came to...about $55. (excluding paint and a new fabulous bedspread that was on clearance) If you have all the tools that's more money saved.

Step 1: get everything out of the room and rip out carpet and tack strip. Remove baseboards if you can't live with the gap. (if there is one) If there isn't a gap...tape the baseboards with painters tape because the ferrous sulfate will "grey" the wood.

Step 2: scrap up any paint, drywall...etc off of floor. We started with an razor blade the get off varnish and then switched to hot water and industrial steel wool to get off the paint and drywall. We even got up stain...

Step 3: Get the concrete as clean as possible. We used the shop vac, swept, and mopped..

Step 4: Patch any holes in the concrete. We used vinyl patch concrete..which didn't exactly get smooth...but it worked. After it dried we took a drywall mud tool and scrapped any patch that wasn't even with the floor...we then took a towel and cleaned around each hole to get up any patch residue.

Step 5: Prepare the ferrous sulfate. We didn't know how much solution we would need..so we made 2 gallons...(2lbs ferrous sulfate per gallon) which was plenty for a 175 square foot room. Boil 2 gallons of water...add fertilizer...(yeah it's a fertilizer) and stir for about 5 minutes..strain into a bucket. We used a bungee cord to tie an old towel to a bucket and poured through twice. It will separate into rust and greenish water....stir well and pour into sprayer.

Step 6: spray on floor. Use a sweeping motion keeping a wet edge. Put something down if you plan on putting the sprayer down because it will leave a ring if it gets wet. I first used a roller which was a pain in the butt...I was afraid of the sprayer...but quickly switched on the next layers...you let each layer dry completley before adding more. we live in New Mexico where there is no humidity...so it dried in 20 minutes. Oh and don't wear shoes...go barefoot or wear socks. I did 4 layers.

First layer

Second layer

4th layer (I forgot to take pics of the 3rd)

After the 4th layer dried...you must now mop up on all the extra rust...we used hot water and a mop with white vinegar...maybe a cup per gallon...I didn't measure...it took about 4 times to mop everything up...

4th layer and sealing with a high gloss concrete sealer...the sealer darkened the floor to a mixture of dark terracota and chocolate...so beautiful.

It was a lot of work...but it was worth it!

homestudy and Jude update

Well a quick update on our adoption process...

Our social worker is in the final stages of our homestudy...although our profile is available to any birth mothers/families that may come into the agency. We are happy, so far, of how things have been going and still feel confident. Adoption is a hard process...and sometimes there is a long wait...and sometimes not. It can be a rollercoaster of emotions...if you let it be. We just know that we will wait for as long as it takes to bring our kiddos home.

I've enjoyed the weather these past days...finally allowing us to go outside without being blown away. Jude has really liked his new clubhouse/swingset and plays on it everyday. A couple of evenings ago, we sat outside...enjoying the coolness of the grass and ate a bowl full of cherries. It's times like that, that I think Jude will remember. He's getting so big. His vocabulary is amazing...and sometime embarassing. He's quick to point things out...that really should be said behind doors....and he still hasn't mastered his "quiet voice." We are working on that.

A spontaneous get-away

We were in dire need to spend some quality time together. My husband realized he would have a 4 day weekend coming up and asked what I wanted to do. I knew immediately.

I got on the phone....

and booked 2 nights at a Bed and Breakfast called the Black Range Lodge in Kingston NM. We had never been there before, but heard that it was beautiful. The population of Kingston is 21.....yes 21 people! It is a cluster of historic houses nestled in the hills...away from everything. Pete and Catherine were amazing and interesting in everyway...we enjoyed their company and the bountiful breakfast of pheasant omelets, fresh orange juice, homemade bread and sourdough waffles with coconut syrup. My hubby and I enjoyed a 4 hour hike up the Black Mountain Range....surrounded by tall pine trees and crisp mountain air. It was a reminder that we really do enjoy each others company! We shared an MRE...which I had never had...and I was surprised how good it was.

That night we decided to go out for dinner. The nearest open restaurants were 45 minutes away in Truth or Consequences, NM. We stopped at one restaurant....and while we were walking up...a lady asked if we knew where the BellaLuca was at. We didn't, but had a newspaper with a local map and advertisements in it....we gave her the address and then decided to follow....and we are so thankful that we did. It was the most amazing food....the calamari was hands down the best we have EVER eaten....and in the middle of nowhere! It was tossed with yellow peppers, roasted bellpepper, some kind of oil dressing on a bed of red lettuce. We ended up eating there again the next day.

I also booked us a couple's massage at the Sierra Grande Lodge. We sat in our own private hotspring bath outside for 30 minutes and then had an hour massage....it was bliss. I love how professional they were and the inviting simple decor....it was very zen-ish. After everything was done...my hubby brought me a super dark chocolate truffle....

I am one happy gal.

The Man Bag, M-urse, Man-ssenger...

So I finally finished it...the Man Bag...the Murse (not to be confused with a male nurse lol)...the MAN-ssenger...it's made from cotton duck canvas...making it water resistant. It's padded with fusible fleece interfacing, has a large inside pocket and a small pocket for keys and pens and has a 45.5" canvas strap on D-rings. I had a blast designing this...with some input from my hubby...who is modeling it. This bag is super durable and would be great for a laptop, diaper bag...overnight bag...or want ever your manly heart desires...for more info/pics...click here

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Lap Top Messenger

I spent two sleepless nights thinking about designing a laptop messenger. I went ahead and made one today...it came out perfect. With dimensions of 13" by 18" it can accommodate a large laptop and would also be perfect as a diaper bag, overnight bag or to lug around your artist supplies.

I went to our local fabric shop yesterday...bribing my son with chicken nuggets (he hates going lol) and bought lots of new fabric...I spent the rest of the afternoon cutting out 8 messengers...so I have a lot of sewing to do...but I love it.

Spring cleaning or Nervous Energy?

So for the past week I've been doing things around the house, that I have been waiting to do forever. When we moved into our home, I spent days ripping off 80's wallpaper and painting. So by the time I made it to the bathrooms...I didn't care anymore. So they have been a boring white until this week...oh they did both have hideous borders that I scrapped off...but other than that...boring white. I decided on a deep chocolate brown with aqua accents...those colors seem so relaxing yet refreshing. After finishing the guest bathroom...I still had some paint left over...so I painted our bathroom as well. I love it.

I've also had this overwhelming urge to clean and organize all of the closets in the house. I don't know why. Maybe it's nervous energy with the adoption process...or an urgency to get things in order before we add to our family...knowing that there won't be much time to paint, organize and etc or...I just like things to be in order...who knows.

I also planted our spring veggies. If you haven't heard about "gardening by the square foot", you should google it. Last year it yielded 13 inch zucchinis and so many tomatoes we couldn't eat them all. I love being able to go outside and pick fresh herbs and veggies to cook with. It's also teaching Jude on how to care for something. I let him help me water, weed and pick.

Speaking of Jude, last night was "one of those nights" when we put him to bed and the fight began. He loves to wait about 20 minutes...when you finally dozed off and are done for the night...to scream..."I've got to go poooop!" Now...you can't deny him his right to go poop...and for the most part he really does need to go....so there I go...get him up, turn light on...tell him to sit down...and then walk back to my room...after 1 second...he says "I'm doooone....go check...nothing. Explain to him that he can't get up anymore and it's time for bed....he does this for the next 2 hours....it's midnight...my husband has to get up in 4 hours...and is not happy. He finally does go....but then screams..."it's stuck...help" I quickly get up, not knowing what's in store....I turn the corner and there he is on the potty...with his child potty seat stuck around his head. I immediately start laughing and grab the camera. Wow I'm such a good mom....right? Maybe this is how we all learned common sense. I took several minutes to get it off...me laughing...him crying....and pics to document it all.

keeping busy

Well I finished our scrapbook file this past weekend...and I turned it in before I remembered to take some pics. It was a lot of fun, time consuming and nerve racking. When you think about it...our children's birthmother will be holding that book...we carefully crafted our words...thinking about each subject and how she would feel reading it. For instance when it came to Jude...we could have made a thousand pages of him....I have pics of every week of his life for the 1st year...and every month after that lol, but we didn't want the BM to think her child would be 2nd best. So I made 2 pages of him...describing our struggles with infertility, briefly his birthstory and his excitement to be a big brother. The whole thing came out beautifully. So now our social worker is working on writing our homestudy. We have submitted all the paperwork for that. From this point on...it is a waiting game.

I've had a lot of extra energy this week...eventhough not a lot of sleep. I painted our guest bathroom a dark chocolate brown. I bought a new over the toilet storage thingy...in chocolate and have aqua accents...it came out lovely. I've also been busy working in our yard...planting lettuce, snappeas, purple onions and herbs...my dad helped me transplant some rose trees from my aunts house.

I need to make some more items for my etsy store...I just can't decide what. Blanket sets, Booties, Messengers or Magnets...I tend to sell in cycles....some things will fly off "the rack" one month...and the next another. So we will see....I'm thinking Messengers...it's spring..and soon summer...we all need something to carry all our crap in!

Jude helping grandpa plant the rose trees

a relief...

well today was the last "interview" portion for our homestudy. I'm so relieved and happy. It went well...and I felt way more relaxed....eventhough we were interviewed separately. I feel like it went smoothly.

Things you may need to have in place before your homestudy

1) a fire exit plan posted

2) fire extinquisher

3) emergency numbers posted

4) copy of children's immunizations or pet's shot records

5) keyed entry to any medicine cabinet

6) child locks on everything

7) comfort food...for afterwards :)

Jude was so cute today....he always asks a million questions about everything...and he asked why "that lady" was coming today...and then before I could answer...he so very matter-a-factly states "because she's going to help us get a baby sister..." I just nod.

He also peed in a cup today....we were in the shower and he insisted that I hand him his cup and close my eyes....I was washing my hair...when I realized what he has said....I looked down and he handed me a cup of pee...all I could do was laugh.

My Newest Booties Collection

So I got my first wholesale order ...well my first legit wholesale order last weekend...yes, while throwing my son a fabulous birthday party and getting ready for our homestudy! I completed them and decided to go ahead and list them as "not ready-made". I am working on having them all ready made...but it takes some time...here they are...and they are adorable! I think the hardest part was naming them all lol. I have about 5 more styles that I haven't listed....

P.S. I think the homestudy went well...you never know....we do have our next interview this Thursday.