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my son's 5th birthday...surprise lunch with dada!

It's been a while...a long while.

It's been a busy whirlwind these last give or take 6 months. I've seen my daughter grow from an infant to a mobile tornado and my son begin to read. He starts Kinder in the Fall...no more homeschool for that kid. It was a hard decision...but mama being his teacher was not working for the both of us. He's brillant...and knows it...we are both stubborn, strong-willed...and quite frankly I'm tired of fighting him everyday. So off to private school boy! (I'm still homeschooling him...only we aren't doing it everyday) I can't believe it's been 5 years since his birth...we celebrated his actually birthday by having a surprise lunch with dada....and that weekend we had a lucha libre party. I'll blog more on that later.

Okay so...the last time I posted I wanted to lose weight, was going to see an encrinologist, had labs done etc. Well....I went to the encrinologist. He was a jerk. I sat through his "seminar" and saw him the next day. He asked me what my goal was. I said "well, I'd like to lose weight and....." He interrupted me and said "well, I'm no FAT doctor!...the correct answer would have been a baby" I was speechless. He said "you probably have PCOS soooo, it will take you a year...you can't eat any carbs...so go on the Atkins diet....and that "running around after kids all day" is obviously not enough exercise. "I told him how can I have PCOS and have always had a regular period and that the only symptom I've had is cysts?" He said "hmmmmmm" and ordered a bunch of tests and then his goon came in to tell me all about their financial plans. He was like a cars salesman and by the end of it, I wanted to punch both of them in their ugly faces. Sorry, but I did. Then the gyno came in and gave me all the orders and said he'd call me back with the results. I got the blood tests done at a place where my insurance pays 100%. About 2 weeks later I get a call from the gyno's nurse...who was extremely rude. She said that I had had the bill sent to the gyno personally and that I needed to pick it up immediately and pay for it. It was over $400. I told her all I did was go to the lab...I didn't "have them bill the doctor" She said...well you must have checked off a box or something...but you need to come get this right now!" Wow. So I went...picked it up and called the lab. I told them what happened. They were really nice and said that the gyno set it up that way...and they'd take care of it. I never got a call back from the gyno. So I don't have the results...I've called and left messages. I went to the lab yesterday...they said it will take 30 days for them to mail me my results. I just want to know if I have lupus or don't have lupus.

I decided to see a nutritionist. I got on a eating plan. 1200 calories, 30 grams of fat, no more than 10 grams of sugar per serving...limit red meat, eat breakfast, snack, lunch, snack and dinner, drink 10-12 glasses of water, exercise 5 days a week. PORTION CONTROL.....and I discovered Zumba.

Oh Zumba how I love you! I went to several different classes until I found my "match" I love my instructor and the people that go there....and I sweat like hog...and I'm sad when the hour is up. I'm expecting my Zumba pants today...they have ribbons on the butt...and I'm so going to wear them!

 The only time I can't eat carbs is at dinner. I set a goal to lose at least 40 pounds by my birthday, which is in 2 weeks. I've lost 39. I've dropped 4 sizes in 4 months. I feel amazing. I still need to lose between 10-15 pounds after that.

I went to my regular doctor a couple of weeks ago...he had some labs that came to him from the nutritionist and also when I had that kidney stone...I have high uric acid...which can cause gout...if I had gone on the Atkins diet...it could have killed my kidneys. I probably won't be able to eat read meat again. I'm waiting for some more results to see how bad it really is...I've limited it to once a week...as part of the diet...so I'm hoping that will be enough. If not, I may have to become a vegetarian that can't eat oats, legumes, asparagus, yeast, spinach...basically all my favorites...so we will see. I still want to punch someone.

Sorry this is a bunch of medical issues...but I felt like I needed to say all of that...so I don't punch someone!

Okay onto other business. I can't wait for Spring. I'm so ready to start the veggie garden...and this year, so is my son. We saw the veggie and herb plants yesterday at Wal-Mart....he knew what some of them were! He wanted to get some right then and there. But we need to replace our soil...and this year I was to start a compost pile. I can't wait to get my hands into fresh earth and smell Spring rains...ahhhh.

Enjoying the Moments



Japanese Tea Gardens, San Francisco







It's been weeks. A lot has happened...all good..well most of it. My hubby and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary this month by going to San Francisco....without the Littles. It was so amazing and needed. We enjoyed every moment we had together....walked a lot...talked a lot...drank tea...laughed...and remembered our honeymoon pizza and wine. We missed the Littles. I had the great idea of making packets for Jude to open every morning. Included was a letter with drawings, activities for the day (Playdoh, poppers, bubbles..etc.) Photos from when he was a baby, candy, confetti, small toys and homework. I forgot to mention that we started homeschool...I'll blog more about that later. We also took photos everyday and uploaded them so that my mom could show him what we did that day....I wanted to make sure that eventhough this was a "mommy and dada vacation"...he was still missed and included. It worked. He was actually upset that he didn't get one on the day we came home! 



Before the trip I had kidney stone surgery, an ovarian cyst the size of a grapefruit (I still do), a hurt back and knee....and I'm vitamin D deficient. So slowly I'm addressing these one at a time. I saw an OBGYN for the first time in 6 years (I still get a yearly check-up with my family dr.) for the cyst and they haven't decided what they are going to do. However they do want to help me figure out what is wrong... maybe PCOS, Lupus, enter other stupid infertility issue here...so I've been passing out blood samples left and right....and we are just waiting for the results. He also had me see an infertility dr.....cringe....who's also on this treck to figure out what's going on....I just want to be able to exercise...but enough about that.



Brother and Sister

Little Van Gogh

We started homeschooling Jude. It was hard in the beginning. He's an action boy...and only 4 years old...but we are now a well oiled machine. He read and wrote his first word yesterday..."bat"...he was so proud. I've enjoyed exposing him to the things I love...like Art. In San Francisco we went to an art museum...where my passion for art was awoken again. We saw Monet's, Renoir's, Caillebotte's, Whistler's and more...my first thought was how could I share this with Jude. So every week we "study" about one artist...the first one was Vincent Van Gogh...we talked about him, his career (or lack of it), cutting off his ear, and the technique he used...I had an old Van Gogh calendar I found while cleaning under our bed (perfect timing) and he loved looking through all of them. We then mixed glue and acrylic paint to make them extra thick...I drew a scene with swirly skies, hills and trees...and had him paint a starry day picture...he did so well....he then used a fork to make "brush strokes" like Van Gogh's painting had. We had a moment....and I hope that we continue to.  He also started soccer and music class. That is a blog all on it's own!

Whitesands, NM 5 months

found this fabulous dress in China Town!

Scarlytt is an amazing baby girl. She's 6 months already. She rolled over 2 weeks ago and sits up for a long time. She hates bananas and apples....but loves all the veggies...except peas. She's overly in love with watermelon. She has started to smack her lips when she's hungry. She is a mama's girl. I love dressing her up...but she spends most of her days in just a diaper. It's such a blessing to see Jude and Scarlytt interact with one another. They just love each other so much....Jude loves making up songs like "I love my sister...she's so pretty...I love my sister...she's so chunky...I love my sisssssssster....all while she laughs and coos and grabs his face. Hopefully we finalized next month!

So for now I'm enjoying the moments....

4 months

This summer has been full of firsts....Jude's first time playing T-ball, attending a preschool activity class by himself, going camping, being a big brother and seeing the Alamo. I made jam for the first time and Scarlytt got her first taste of rice and oatmeal. We've been busy. I've had little time to myself and much less time to craft. We finally have settled into a routine and I'm slowly adding stuff to my store. I miss it.

Scarlytt is growing so much. She is full of life and we are starting to see more and more of her personaility. She is a happy baby...easy to please....and has started blowing rasberries...Jude calls it "giving you addertoots" (attitude) She hasn't quite made a complete roll over...but she's trying. She's a drooler, spitter upper and blow out diaper girl. I'm sure that TMI. She turns 5 months in 3 days. One more month until we can petition for adoption!

Jude starts homeschool and soccer next week.
I'm ready to smell Fall.

3 months

You are such a delight. You have opened so many doors of creativity in me. I love making you "pillowcase" dresses,  ruffle bootie covers and headbands for every outfit. For the past 3 weeks, you have slept through the night. No sleep training required. You are discovering your laugh and are very ticklish. I can't tickle you long enough to get you to giggle because I start laughing so hard. I enjoy watching you discover the world around you...you grab everything in front of you and scream in delight. I love watching brother be a brother to you...he asks everyday when you will be big enough to play.  You weigh 13.4 pounds!

Just 3 months ago I was waiting for my miracle. I'm praying for all my friends that are waiting for theirs....

Belle of the Ball

Dear 2 month old Scarlytt: You are an amazing baby. You are beginning to coo and smile...and every once in a while, yell in delight. You weigh 11 lbs 5 oz and are 22" long. You love the swing and hate the bouncer. You have a talented gift of getting out of the swaddler...no matter how snug you are. You got you ears pierced today...and cried for less than 20 seconds...and then fell asleep. You love to sleep and you can do it anywhere. Brother came up with the name "tootie" for you...because you are a cutie patootie...He loves you so much. When you cry, he'll run over to you and whisper..."it's ok, brother is here"  I'm so grateful for you and thank God for such a precious gift.

love,

mama

Family of Four

Wow...I never knew it could take 20 minutes to get into the car. I've learned in the last 2 weeks...that adding another kiddo to the mix...someone always has to go poop. We are home home....and we haven't stopped. We are also preparing to throw my son's 4th B-day party this weekend...yes...2 months late...but a full force dress up kinda party...hey I should be hanging castle walls right now...so I'll keep this short. We are in the end stage of the adoption process...baby Scarlytt has to live here for 6 months to become a "resident" of our state...and then we can file for finalization.

She is a sweet baby. Sleeps well...eats well...and is super laid back. She's only thrown a couple of 2 am parties. She is a delight..and  we can't wait to see her personality unfold. Our son had a rough first week...trying to figure out his role...he is officially the diaper thrower and door opener. We are all adjusting well...

We are now a family of four.

Scarlytt Raquel

Our beautiful girl is here...and she's perfect. I will tell you the last couple of days are a whirlwind behind us. We got a call last Monday that the doctors decided to induce the birthmother..we threw things in a bag and headed 14 hours to the hospital. We didn't make it to her birth...I got to hear it by cell phone lol...and heard her first cries. She was born on my birthday.

God is amazing. His gifts are perfect. His mercy and tenderness towards me is undeserved....He is so gracious.

I've enjoyed hearing the little squeaks of a newborn...even smelling like puke n' poop....she is so peaceful...and has mounds of hair!

LOL

(enter whirlwind here)
We drove through the great state of Texas in record time...especially with a 4 year old. The birthmother had a amniocentesis done this past Tuesday....and we found out that she isn't as far along as we thought. They are guesstimating around 35 weeks or so. They don't know. I'm glad that baby girl still has some "cooking" to do. The reason they were going to induce was because for a 39 weeker she was measuring small...and they were concerned that she wasn't growing properly...so all along...she just isn't "done" I'm flying back by myself in 2 weeks...well that's the plan...but like we all know...plans change.

God's hand is very much in control...and I love it.

my "rescue guy"

Today is my son's 4th B-day. This is a day that God ended my sorrow, pain and longing for a child. This is the day that I became a mama. I will remember this day until I die.

I will remember that it rained that night as we slept in the car. We just couldn't go to a hotel...we didn't want to miss his birth. He was perfect. I will remember feeding him that morning and singing.."you are my sunshine"...and watching his every move. I love being your mama Jude...with all my heart.

I didn't know then..what I was in store for. A bright, witty, passionate, hard-headed, teaser of a boy...one who loves dirt, trucks, playing pretend and reading books. One who would say "I'm a leader"...with such declaration...that I believe him. One who argues with everything and likes things in a particular way...and I guarantee it was the exact opposite of how you wanted it. One who doesn't like to lose. One who loves to pray...and calls himself a "mighty man of God" One who is passionate about music...especially Johnny Cash. One who loves soft things and hates the cold. One who loves to love. 

I love you my Jude...and I'm so thankful God blessed us with you. You are my "rescue guy", my knight, and my precious gift from above! 

2 week count down!

Yesterday we met with our lawyer...and all the paperwork is pretty much in order...phew! (enter huge sigh of relief) The lovely birthfamily had an appointment yesterday and they told her she was full term and that if she didn't go into labor within 2 weeks...they would induce! (after checking to make sure baby girl's lungs were developed)

I'm still in a state of shock...all I can think about is finishing her room, cleaning and packing...and making sure we have everything in order. I think I'm just too crazy excited that I don't know what to do with myself.

I'm feeling so much better, now that I had my gall bladder removed! It's so nice not to be in pain anymore! I ended up having over 1 inch gall stones!! And by the time baby girl arrives, I'll be off the not-lifting-anything- over-20-lbs-restriction...
Last week we decided to wash all the baby clothes, and prepare the room. Jude had a blast helping dada put up the crib and birchtree decals we got from creative walls off of etsy of course! They were easy to put up and they had great customer service!! I also finished making the crib skirt, bumber, pillow and sweet birdies for her mobile. Today we are going to finish sanding and staining the changing table and armoire...it's all coming along!

I'm in awe of God's grace, mercy and goodness.

Nesting

Well it's weeks before we bring our baby girl home, but I can't help but clean. It doesn't help that tomorrow I will be having gall bladder surgery...so all I think about is that I won't be able to clean clean. I'm taking a short break to blog and then it's back to shop vac-ing baseboards. :)

 Today I received the birchtree decals I ordered off Etsy...I want to put them up....but I'm still waiting until it's closer to the due date. I can't even make myself wash the clothes that our family has so kindly bought already. The one "failed adoption" that we had...the baby was a girl...so I'm trying not to compare that situation to this one...because it's nothing like this one...and I don't really have the fear that that the birthfamily is going to change their adoption plans for their baby....but it's really difficult for me to completely un-guard my heart. So I'll wait a couple more weeks. The room is going to be darling. I had already painted it an aqua and cream...with chocolate and aqua damask accents...and the floor is shades of terracotta. There will be birch trees, peacocks, damask, sweet bunnies and maybe an owl or two...her crib bumber I still need to make (which will be aqua and chocolate damask)...and stain the furniture I bought 3 years ago...I don't know if we will get that done before she's here. I figure we have 6 months before we need to get her room completely done, since she will be sleeping in a bassinet in our room anyway. I'm excited to get this surgery over with and recover.

I'm praying for the birthfamily everyday...that they are strengthen through this whole process and that they feel God's love for them. I also pray that they both get the rest and health that they both need. They are so precious...and we absolutely love them.

Sugar and Spice

As I sit here trying to figure out words to express God's grace, mercy and peace... I can't. It's been an amazing journey so far.  Miracles are happening throughout this whole adoption process...that I can't even begin. The birthparents are beautiful. During our first meeting...we just sat and talked like old friends...
We pray that God will continue to knit our hearts together.

So since the last time I've blogged...we were told that it was a boy...however today at the ultrasound we found out that it's a girl!!!! We are amazed. Plain and simple. I can't belive that we will be meeting her in a matter of weeks. Our son has prayed for a baby sister for over a year now...so when we told him that it was a baby girl and not a boy...he was confused and excited...lol.



Now to return some not-so-gender neutral clothing and make some slight changes to our registry....and make a crazy amount of hair wraps and sweet booties with flowers!

The most daring blog I've written.

To make a long story short.  We will be adding to our family in about 2 months!
Now, like most domestic adoptions...circumstances can always change...but we are trusting God that He would close doors and open doors. So far, doors are swinging open.....with every other "opportunity" in the past year...doors shut immediately. I don't know God's plan for our family, but I do trust him. So, yes this is the most daring blog I've written...meaning that an adoption is not final until the papers are signed...yet I'm sharing with family, friends...and you!

I'm grateful that God has heard the cries of my heart. I'm overwhelmed with His peace...which is different for me. We are meeting the birthfamily in less that a week.

Our agency will not be facilitating this adoption because the baby is in another state...for even that I'm thankful. We always said (and were told) that our son's adoption (private, independent through lawyers...and way cheaper) really don't happen as often...and not to expect it to happen like that again. God did it!
The baby is a boy!
I will update on our journey after we meet the birthfamily.

Waiting

I'm not going to lie...I think waiting sucks...to put it lightly and not lady-like. These last couple of weeks have been difficult and challenging in every way. I'm really not one to "air" my feelings into cyberspace...but I really don't feel like writing.
Last week we got a call that there was a BM that needed to make an adoption plan for her days old son or CYFD was going to take him. First the BM was already considering adoption...and was "leaning" towards picking us...but then decided to parent. Which is fine...it's her baby...her decision. All of her other children are in state custody. We were told if she did choose us...we would need to be there immediately...a 5 hour drive...etc.etc. I quickly realized that we weren't in a "stand-by-ready-at-the-door mode." I quickly and anxiously searched for newborn clothing...and all the works...found the infant carseat and soft blankets...newborn hats...and through them into the washer.  All of that stuff has been stored deep into the mess, we call the garage, and I haven't looked at that stuff in such a long time...I tried not to fantasize about a newborn baby..that may or not may be my future son. My son and I raced to the store to buy diapers, wipes, newborn care stuff...and sweet little booties. I didn't tell Jude what or who they were for. He longs for a sibling...and if it didn't work out...I couldn't bare to tell him. So I just said they were gifts...they were...I wasn't exactly lying. I came home and folded each item and placed them in a diaper bag....and stood back...looking at the fresh and nicely folded heap of items. It was hard.
Reality sets in. I know that we haven't been picked. I know that if she doesn't choose adoption...CYFD isn't going to wait long to take custody of the baby....and once that happens...we wouldn't be able to adopt him....he would be "in the system." Our social worker calls and says that they haven't heard anything and she would call me tomorrow. A glimmer of hope sparkled in the distance. I prayed all night.

Morning came...and so did the phone call. The BM wasn't able to make the decision to place her baby...so he's now in the custody of the state. My first reaction was sorrow...not for me...but for the BM. I can't imagine what she is feeling. First she decided to place her baby....then to parent....and then it was decided for her. I just can't imagine. I know what it feels like to lose a child...I've done it twice. But I never was able to hold them. I'm still praying for this BM...whom I've never met...and I hope that she gets her life back.

Now I have a nicely folded heap of  items...(which by the way...I was smart enough to buy in white, green and yellow)....which was quickly moved to the back bedroom...so I didn't have to pass by it 30 times a day...and re-live that I'm still waiting for my babies. Waiting sucks.

Oh wait I forgot to mention that during this time, I was supposed to make a trip to the location where my hubby is working to bring a load of stuff home. He only has one more week. I didn't want to leave and then we get a call that we need to be somewhere immediately. So we decided that I'd go the next day. My son ended up hurting his knee...and he may need surgery. Three years old...and may need knee surgery.
P.S. jumping over marbles to impress some pretty girls...is way overrated.

All I can say is this family is praying for a lot of miracles.

Catching Up...

                        

These last couple of weeks have forced me to neglect my blog...from the Flu to decorating the tree, baking, family having surgery, Thanksgiving, fairs, Fall, Winter..Snow...and lots of Etsy orders and Christmas Photo shoots...it's great to sit down for a bit and "catch up"

First...

We are still waiting to hear about the 3 little girls in foster care. Their social worker isn't able to give us any information...which we completely understand. The last update we had from their foster mom...is that they had another court date this past Monday...we don't know what was decided. We do know that the baby is now in state custody...we don't know why. I think about these girls and pray for them everyday...I pray for God's decision in their life...whether that means being reunited with their mother...or not... We hope that if they do become eligible for adoption that we would be considered.

During my son's prayers last night...he prayed that God would send him some baby sisters (he's been saying that for over a year lol) so that he can have someone to play with...he then turned to me and said "I will share all my toys and my bed." It's bittersweet to know that he is longing for a sibling...just as much as we are longing for more children.  We hope that God answers our prayers very soon!

Fall and Winter...came so quickly this year...but I've enjoyed every moment of it. The changing leaves and cool weather put me in the mood for Christmas movies, hot cocoa and flannel sheets. Today we woke up to snow covered everything...I don't remember the last time it really snowed in Southern New Mexico...it's been years...usually we have to drive to the mountains...Jude had a blast playing, but quickly realized that being wet and cold was way overrated!

Since I've last blogged...I've added more Scoodies, Magnet Sets, Hair Wraps (for women and babies!) and Messengers to my store...I'm working on getting some more done this weekend...